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| spacehog |
All The Girls Walk By, Dressed Up For Each Other
For my 29th birthday, I decided it would be a good time to grow the hell up and start wearing a watch. Mike, who in case you didn't know works in the beauty/fashion industry now, informed me that I should get with the program and get a big hunk of a watch. Already appreciating the revival of gold tone for some time, I let it be known that a big gold boyfriend watch would suit. Anything to replace the Scoop watch that was one link away from death in my purse. By the way, how the hell does that brand get away with being pricey?
So birthday dinner came with a cute little tin and the watch that was exactly what I had imagined. I was happy to get a gift and happy to know that I wouldn't puke upon seeing the price on our bank statement. One thing that threw me off was the worry on Mike's face as he gave it to me. After the usual, "Do you like it?" came an onslaught of other possible watches I could exchange this one for. "I was looking at this Marc Jacobs one and I thought you may like the Michael Kors or Coach one too but then I remembered we have to pay the floor guy so I hope you're not upset that this wasn't too expensive." Hello? My favorite pair of shoes just came from Salvation Army for $2.50. Did you forget who you married?
I worked with a guy who once asked me what brand of jeans I was wearing (I think they were Mossimo). I can't remember much more than his reaction - puzzled - followed by him pointing to his ass, "These are True Religion." I didn't know what white stitching meant then and that made him even more confused. I later saw him on a double date - his girl, and her left and right Valentino heels. It made sense then. He was just trying to make conversation based on what he thought most women liked. Was my oblivion paired with my penny pinching unattractive to him?
Mike - who asks for Fred Perry polos every Christmas because he is too cheap to buy them for himself -really threw me off with this temporary interest in expense. I was puzzled by his worry before I realized that he just wanted my gift to be special. I started thinking about how life would be for us if the brand Fossil really did piss me off. Not to toot my own horn too much, but by surrounding myself with supportive, like-minded women-friends, I really feel like the world is my fashion cornucopia and Mike, my handsome pilgrim - reminding me to simultaneously make my own way while embracing the occasional current fashion kernel. I'm not knocking nice things, or the people who spend money on them, I just appreciate the challenge of finding your wife the perfect b-day gift for under 100 bucks. Way to go, Honey.
For my 29th birthday, I decided it would be a good time to grow the hell up and start wearing a watch. Mike, who in case you didn't know works in the beauty/fashion industry now, informed me that I should get with the program and get a big hunk of a watch. Already appreciating the revival of gold tone for some time, I let it be known that a big gold boyfriend watch would suit. Anything to replace the Scoop watch that was one link away from death in my purse. By the way, how the hell does that brand get away with being pricey?
So birthday dinner came with a cute little tin and the watch that was exactly what I had imagined. I was happy to get a gift and happy to know that I wouldn't puke upon seeing the price on our bank statement. One thing that threw me off was the worry on Mike's face as he gave it to me. After the usual, "Do you like it?" came an onslaught of other possible watches I could exchange this one for. "I was looking at this Marc Jacobs one and I thought you may like the Michael Kors or Coach one too but then I remembered we have to pay the floor guy so I hope you're not upset that this wasn't too expensive." Hello? My favorite pair of shoes just came from Salvation Army for $2.50. Did you forget who you married?
I worked with a guy who once asked me what brand of jeans I was wearing (I think they were Mossimo). I can't remember much more than his reaction - puzzled - followed by him pointing to his ass, "These are True Religion." I didn't know what white stitching meant then and that made him even more confused. I later saw him on a double date - his girl, and her left and right Valentino heels. It made sense then. He was just trying to make conversation based on what he thought most women liked. Was my oblivion paired with my penny pinching unattractive to him?
Mike - who asks for Fred Perry polos every Christmas because he is too cheap to buy them for himself -really threw me off with this temporary interest in expense. I was puzzled by his worry before I realized that he just wanted my gift to be special. I started thinking about how life would be for us if the brand Fossil really did piss me off. Not to toot my own horn too much, but by surrounding myself with supportive, like-minded women-friends, I really feel like the world is my fashion cornucopia and Mike, my handsome pilgrim - reminding me to simultaneously make my own way while embracing the occasional current fashion kernel. I'm not knocking nice things, or the people who spend money on them, I just appreciate the challenge of finding your wife the perfect b-day gift for under 100 bucks. Way to go, Honey.
SeaWorld
Pro - God bless them for putting a baby changing station in every single male bathroom on the grounds. Mike and I try to adhere to a ping-pong style of wiping Penn's dirty butt. Sometimes there are exceptions like Mike having 2 poops in a row and me sliding in on his turn to offer some relief (I think it's fair to say 5 pees is still better than 3 poops) but when we are out in public, it is usually a one sided match. I am the only butt-wiper because there is no place for Mike to comfortably go. No one wants a 6"4' man in the ladies room, even if he is stunningly attractive like my husband. This last outing to SeaWorld was the first and possibly last time for a while that Mike and I will be able to trade off. This is my formal offer of a plea bargain to the public restroom people... Give moms a break and we will be more apt to keep the poop bomb diaper out of your public trash can.
Con - A tortilla, shredded iceberg lettuce and pale pink tomatoes will never constitute a suitable "veggie wrap". I know that overpriced theme park food is one step above eating at the hospital, but how can you live with yourself by offering a vegetarian option whose only two ingredients, one of which is technically a fruit, have the lowest nutritional value off all vegetables? It's 2011, SeaWorld. I'm not asking for seitan cutlets or stuffed acorn squash but even slow food chains such as Chili's, home of b-b-b-Baby Back Bibs (frozen on arrival) offer a black bean burger option. I'm guessing your average vegan doesn't jump up one morning and decide to drop 80 bucks on an all year pass to Anheuser Busch's corporate step-child, SeaWorld, but times have changed (and people have seen Food Inc.). Not all tourists are satisfied with a 20 dollar turkey leg and an 8 dollar Diet Pepsi. Although the turkey legs remind me of being 7 and going to the Renaissance Festival (which was a one time thing, don't judge), Pepsi, in any form is never acceptable. Step up your food game.
*Captivity was a con until I saw some tore-up Sea Lions who were once stuck in a dam and facing "euthanasia". SeaWorld was the only place that would take them in. It's not the best life, but they're trying.
After watching Penn point at fish in a restaurant aquarium for 2 hours straight, we decided it would be a good idea to take him to SeaWorld. I have one pro and one con to offer - aside from the obvious amazement in Shamu's new baby and the necessary evil that is Florida tourism*
Pro - God bless them for putting a baby changing station in every single male bathroom on the grounds. Mike and I try to adhere to a ping-pong style of wiping Penn's dirty butt. Sometimes there are exceptions like Mike having 2 poops in a row and me sliding in on his turn to offer some relief (I think it's fair to say 5 pees is still better than 3 poops) but when we are out in public, it is usually a one sided match. I am the only butt-wiper because there is no place for Mike to comfortably go. No one wants a 6"4' man in the ladies room, even if he is stunningly attractive like my husband. This last outing to SeaWorld was the first and possibly last time for a while that Mike and I will be able to trade off. This is my formal offer of a plea bargain to the public restroom people... Give moms a break and we will be more apt to keep the poop bomb diaper out of your public trash can.
*Captivity was a con until I saw some tore-up Sea Lions who were once stuck in a dam and facing "euthanasia". SeaWorld was the only place that would take them in. It's not the best life, but they're trying.
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| Penn in the Soak Zone |
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